Who exactly are you trying to impress?
Who is the person, or what situation are you ultimately trying to prove your worthiness too?
Or is it someone else?
It’s completely random people. And they can show up in a myriad of ways.
- Could it be the online connection you made 6 months ago and still travel in similar circles?
- Or the fellow (home) school mum that you know because your kids hang out together and she seems to have her shit together, the perfect kids and so calm and present?
- Or the high school friends that you’d barely recognise on the street but due to Facebook seems to pop up all the time, reminding you of the time she was an awful bitch and how insignificant she made you feel?
- Or the ex-boyfriend who put you through hell, but if only he could see you now you can rub it in his face how much better off you are without him?
- Or the family member who always seemed to put you down?
So tell me once again, who are you really trying to prove yourself to?
Think back to our hunter gatherer days. If you were separated from the tribe, it was all that much harder to survive.
Being with like minded people and “group think” keeps us tougher and protects us. No one likes to rock the boat.
Too much is at stake. Both physically. And emotionally. Our lower brain is subconsciously motivated so we may not be aware of the unsconscious drive to feel safe in circles we may not have even realised we’re important to us.
Flogging yourself, pushing yourself to reach these impossible deadlines, over extending yourself, to prove yourself to the person who oh barely even know, who is doing the exact same thing as you too.
The first place to start is this.
The only person you need to prove yourself to is you.
It’s only when we can understand all facets of ourselves. The good bad ugly the beauty the divine.
And accept it. And revel in the beauty of it all. Only then can we seek to do the same.